It's Monday and as I often do, I am making dinner early in the day, because the latter part will be too full. It feels good to make something nourishing, knowing that when we get home for dinner, it will be ready. Standing by the stove, stirring the pot, I realize I'm gripping the large wooden spoon just too tightly. My shoulders are working harder than they should. I ease up and let go and when I do, my eyes soften. I'm less caught in the narrow tunnel of getting something done in this free hour I have and can relax into the experience of being home and having the luxury of cooking. When I pick my daughter up from high school, she'll get in the car and ask, "turmeric? Are we having lentils tonight?" My clothes will smell of onion, ginger, garlic, and cumin. As I drive and listen to her day, I will notice when I am contracting unnecessarily somewhere in my body and let go, once again. Throughout the day, I am retraining myself.
The older I get, the more I am aware that moving through life doesn't have to be so effortful; it doesn't have to be a "fight." Often I speak of ways of working with the mind to bring more space and ease, but we can also initiate it from the body. The next time you are in public, or even at home, observe the physical effort people exert. Notice their shoulders as they do any task; see what their hands and fingers are doing as they stand in line, or what their lips and jaw are doing. We can begin to see how much effort we exert to do something relatively simple. How much does it really take to open up a can or turn a doorknob? What are we contracting in our face as we pay our bills or listen to someone? As soon as we pay attention to what we do in our body, it becomes clear. We don't need to do all of this. We can ease up and it is such a relief. A simple gift we can give ourselves again and again.
My invitation this week is to sporadically check in with your body doing anything at all and see where you can do less and still get your task done well, maybe even better. You might notice places where you habitually contract and, however many times it takes, let it go again. Know that it is a habit and will take time to undo. There is no need to get frustrated. Instead, enjoy the physical relief every time. It will become delicious to let go. By making conscious note of how different and good it feels, we will likely do it more, so don't skip this part of recognizing the difference. We can say to ourselves, "it can feel like this (contracted, tense, effortful) or it can feel like this (open, relaxed, easy)." Our whole being will be grateful. We will have more energy. We will feel more spaciousness. We will see more beauty and experience more wonder because we are more open. We will likely sleep better. Our interactions will be easier and more connecting.
If you exercise, it is great practice to shift between sensing what it's like when you exert yourself and sensing the rest when you are not. Notice if you are still exerting yourself when the movement is done. For example if I run 3/4 of the track and walk for 1/4 of the track. During that walk, I let my shoulders and arms relax completely and I walk slowly. I don't have to keep contracting. Playing with this awareness when we do physical things helps us to know the difference between when we need to apply more effort and when we really don't.
There will be places where we are aware of tension or holding, but can't let go and that's okay, too. Awareness is the first step to making a change. What we can do in these moments is send a kind and compassionate thought. It is hard to not be able to let go when we want to and we can meet it with care. Simply to say, "this is hard to feel; may I have ease in my body and mind; may I be gentle with myself" can be enough to shift the energy, even just a little bit. You can also visualize the breath bringing space to that area, as if you could breathe into this part of you and let the movement and rhythm of the breath massage this held place.
Wishing everyone a week of ease and a happy April. If you are celebrating, I wish you a joyful and meaningful Easter and Passover.
🌷🙏
Jean
