Patience

When I lived in Florida, I remember waiting, as I often was, for my parents at their cafe so we could leave for the day. The largely outdoor restaurant was near the water so it was not uncommon for an egret to come walking by. I remember watching one move ever so slowly, placing each foot carefully down, eyes fixed. At just the right moment, it would dive its beak down in a pointed flash and capture its prey. If it missed, it didn't squawk around or stomp its webbed feet. It would simply resume its slow, calculated walking and try again. From my viewpoint, it seemed as though these birds were equipped with an extra dose of patience.

Patience. It is not a word I heard a lot of in my life, but the longer I am here, the more I am coming to see what a blessing it is to cultivate. If I had greater patience, I might not be so fearful. If I want something to happen or to pass in my life, I could remember patience and trust that what needs to happen will when the conditions are ripe. If I had greater patience, I might be at ease in my body as I wouldn't be clinging with tension in the desire to have something happen right now. I could soften in my musculature, loosen its grip around my bones, and surrender to time. With patience, I might actually receive more than I expected. By not striving so hard for some future happiness, we are inherently present to what is around us now. In the waiting, possibilities make themselves known as there is an openness to what may come. This is the recipe to receiving. If it is a truly important gift we want, we must be present and open to receive it first. When I look at patience this way, I enthusiastically think "yes, this is a quality I want to develop." I can keep calling upon that image of the egret and be reminded of what it looks like in living form.

What I do know is that to nurture patience, we have to start by noticing that we are clinging to something in the first place. Whether it is to an idea of how life should be, or to something or someone we want, a career move, a gaining of something, a pushing away of something. Once we notice what we are doing, the second step would be a deep bow of acknowledgment and of compassion to this longing place inside us. Without this loving presence with ourselves, we cannot genuinely go on. We can choose to be kind to our suffering and not brush it off as insignificant or give it tough love. Rather, we can hold the place of longing in our hands and breath in and out with a deep recognition of its value. It has something we need to know. From here, we can take the next step and have patience, knowing that our presence and compassion to the issue will allow for change. And change it will, because everything does. The practice I know that goes with developing patience is to be aware of my breathing. I can follow my inhale and exhale and stay put with whatever arises. This is having patience and we can nurture this ability by practicing it wherever we are. 

Of course, we won't always get it "right." Some days, we just need to stomp our feet and give that our full blessing. It is too bad our feet are not webbed like our feathered friends or we would make a nice clapping sound as we stomped. There is something calming about the word patience. It is not the kind of harsh parental heeding to be patient as we might have received as kids. When we can wish it for ourselves as adults, it has a positive mothering kindness to it. "May I have more patience for whatever arises." It seems like a warm wish to bestow on oneself. I am going to practice patience in 2015 and it could be that I will be at greater ease and my world will open up more than it already has. I can actually let go. Is there anything you could wish yourself patience with this New Year? I realize now that when I sat waiting outside that cafe as a teenager and watched the egrets go by, I actually did have patience. I was practicing even when I did not know it. Now, I can step it up to a new level where the issues seem more significant than waiting for parents. I wish us all greater patience this year. Gaining it could be our gift to the world.