The more time I spend in this vocation of teaching and facilitating meditation and mindfulness, the more I am feeling the deep desire to make it more real -- by that I mean to put it to work more consciously, more of the time. To read about living a mindful life can be inspiring and there is value to it because we need reminders, but its true value is in how it effects the way we live -- how we think, speak, and act. We only find this out if we practice it and then apply it. Meditation instruction is only useful when we sit down and meditate. Mindful listening or speech is only helpful if we apply it to our everyday conversations. Mindful consumption is only beneficial if we make choices right now with awareness. Joy only comes when we see the good and take it in and be aware of the endless desire to have the next thing filled. How do we do this? I mean how do we really do this mindful living?
There is only one way -- we make choices throughout the day to do it. Of course, not every single thing we think, say, or do is going to be mindful, but unless we make some inner commitment to apply it, we won't see our habitual reactivity change. To practice it, we need to choose the places, people, moments where we are going to be more conscious. It's a question of waking up. We have to want to do it. It's one of the reasons I made A Mindful Life -- groups where we do interact and we try on non-habitual ways of listening, speaking, and acting. To meditate by ourselves is not enough. To bring the concepts to life, we need to do just that -- bring it to the life we have with others. It can be uncomfortable and it takes vulnerability. It takes recommitting to it every day and allowing ourselves to begin again, more often than not. There is no one thing that is going to suddenly make us mindful, no book, podcast, talk, retreat, rather it is our dedication in applying the tools everyday that does it.
At this point in my life, mindful consumption feels easier; letting go of tension in my body feels easier; being able to drop into the present moment feels easier; being still is easy, and I know those didn't just come, but took practice. The practice that feels like the biggest challenge now is communicating mindfully. More often than I'd like to admit, I find myself saying the thing I wished I hadn't, especially to those closest to me -- reacting habitually when my emotions are heightened. I am aware that only I can make that change and if I want to, which I really do, then I have to bring more conscious attention to each moment when I am interacting. It's just like exercise. Thinking about exercising or having knowledge does little. It's in the act of doing it that makes it useful. It also requires letting ourselves fail again and again, forgive, and begin again.
My message this week, to myself and to anyone who finds it helpful, is to make a commitment to some aspect of living mindfully and make it real by doing it. Rather than generalized mindfulness, we can get specific. What might that look like? Here are some ideas. You can choose them all, or pick one for the week and add on another next week. Don't look for perfect, but do it.
~ At the start of the day, meditate. It doesn't matter if you only have 5 minutes. Spend those minutes in concentrated practice. Be still, quiet, and stop doing.
~ Think through the people you are likely to interact with today and decide that you want to listen more, or let there be more silences and pauses before speaking and responding. Choose one conversation if that helps. Water those seeds one conversation at a time.
~ Check in with yourself as you consume anything through your mouth, your ears, your eyes, your skin. Is it nourishing? If it isn't, what choice could you make? Even if you are in midstream, you can change your mind. How empowering is that!
~ Try doing something in your day at a slower pace than you may normally do it. Feel yourself breathing as you do it.
~ Tune into your body at different moments of the day and see where you are holding more tension or using more effort than you need in that moment and let go what you can.
~ Take micro-moments of being present here and now sensing yourself in the moment -- hearing, seeing, touching, feeling the moment just as it is, just as you are. Small moments where you are not somewhere else in your mind.
We are what we think, say, and do. What do you choose to do today so you can be the person you want to be? Not to improve yourself, or to be perfect, but to live in a way that makes you feel as beautiful as you are.
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