We Have The Wisdom We Need

I love how the change of seasons aligns with what I feel inside. It does seem that with the start of each season, I am ready for the shift that's coming. Starting my groups over the past week, after a handful of weeks off, I am relieved to have a schedule again. At the start of summer, I am ready for a loosening of my routine, but now it feels so good to get back in a groove. I hope your first weeks of September have brought you some welcomed change, also.

I've had an interesting revelation over something that's been gnawing at me over the past year. It was coming across as a kind of existential crisis. The word "crisis" feels a bit dramatic and not quite right as I was not stuck or limited in my functioning around things, but it hasn't felt easy either. In preparation for my upcoming retreat (for those of you who don't know, I am holding my first A Mindful Life retreat this fall at the Dharmakaya Center in upstate New York. It is already full, but I hope to do more in the future), I used the tools I facilitate with to listen to myself. This means to really inquire by putting judgment aside (not so easy) and ask questions as if someone else is asking me so that I can think and feel my way through and articulate what I find. It takes effort and time. It is easy to put off. It takes staying power and trust that I can find my own way if I keep staying curious and ask the next opening question.

I arrived at something that I knew was true and new because it left with me with that feeling of awe that comes when we discover something we have been searching for. It's not resolved by any means, but I have a greater understanding of why these existential questions were plaguing me and what I'm needing. I don't know how to fill the need, yet, but I am letting that much digest.

I share this with you because it, once again, reminded me of the power of intentional self inquiry that is not thwarted by our critic, rather is encouraged by our inner knowing. We ask ourselves questions, giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt that there is something true to uncover; we just need to ask the "right" questions that will reveal it. It may not happen all in one sitting, but we can start and then know when to put it down until we can pick it up again. Sometimes with the help of another trusted being who can ask the next helpful question or hold the necessary space.

My invitation this week is when you notice yourself up against something inside, to take time to sit with yourself and ask open, un-judgmental, affirming questions (by that I mean inquiries that trust in your intelligence and inner wisdom) and see what you find. Be curious about yourself. So much more can come from here than from numbing out, knocking oneself down, ignoring, or waiting for someone else to show you. You've probably heard the adage that we have all the wisdom we need inside ourselves. This process, I believe, shows us what this means.

🌻
Jean

P.S.  I wrote a piece on asking opening questions in a past newsletter. To  get some more ideas on how, you can read it here.  If you have a hard time making the space to stop and be in a contemplative space, I have a Beginning Mindfulness Meditation Series starting in October and that could be a good place to start.

Ease Comes From Within

 

There's something about going to the beach at the end of a day when everyone else is leaving that feels spacious and peaceful to me. Watching tired families pack up after a full day of sand and water; the life guards wrapping up their duties; the seagulls look for scraps of food left behind; the shifts of color in the sky. Mike and I will spread out our towels and close our eyes taking in the sounds of waves, fading voices, seagulls, the banner towing planes making their last rounds along the coast. The close of things gives us time to rest and digest so that we can begin again. 

On this close of Labor Day weekend, as we feel life pick up its pace and we enter a new time, we can digest the summer and remember, too, that the beach is still there through fall, winter, and spring. The choice to set aside time to rest and digest and to relax is ours to make. Moments in a day and in week where we put down our labor (whatever that work or effort may be) and stop are essential to our well-being and the well-being of those around us.

My invitation today is to stop and ask yourself what kind of pauses you will give yourself through the coming season. What will that look like in your week? Close your eyes and see what would feel good and practical. Remember that many things we routinely do are nourishing, but only when we slow down and are present enough to take them in. We can be intentional about our moments of resting and digesting. We don't need to go on a full vacation to give ourselves a break. If we change the dynamic within ourselves to give ourselves small, even micro-moments, of letting go of effort, life feels very different overall. We have less physical tension. We are less contracted in our body and mind. We see more, enjoy more, and live more.

What are small or micro-moments of rest? It could be as simple as enjoying your morning coffee in quiet (not reading the news as you do it). Taking a slow walk at some point in the day (even 10 minutes is enough). Walking just to walk, not to get somewhere or to exercise. Savoring your shower. Playing with your dog. And, of course, meditating and following your breath. Watching it naturally get deeper as you let go of of effort and busyness. Even just two minutes of mindful breathing can be a reset. You likely have many more moments you can name. When we let ourselves be in these moments, we get to observe things like the landscape shifting and be awed by the colors and the beauty of change. There will only be one fall at this particular age, with these particular people, with these particular conditions. When we are present we don't miss our lives.

Though what is traditionally considered a season of more ease is closing, we can take refuge in the understanding that true ease comes from within and is always available. We only need to water those seeds and be intentional about our self-care.

🌻
Jean

A Mindset For September

 

While we have another month left of summer, with the school year almost here or already begun in some states, its inevitable winding down is upon us. It is one of the bigger seasonal transitions because, for so many, new schedules start, there are details to organize, logistics to figure out, and feelings percolating around the coming busyness.

While I love the fall, I can feel the pull, like gravity, toward too much to do. I often feel like I have to gear up as if I am about to be launched. Launched where? I don't know. It's why for many years I offered a workshop on returning from summer so that we can get our hearts and minds in a good space to enter September. So much of it is just a mindset. A very large portion of our well-being depends on our mindset.

My invitation this week is to look at how we approach something coming up, whether it is a busy period in the calendar year, a looming project, or the start of something new and see how, rather than get overwhelmed or anxious, we can approach it differently. How can we, instead, have it feel enlivening or exciting? What could shift us from fear or dread to energy and possibility? From anxiety around uncertainty to curiosity and the playful challenge of discovering our strategy? And, how can we change the mindset from "getting through" to "I am about to enter a process I want to meet well?" After all, do we really want to "get through" our moments here or do we want to enjoy living the process?

To enter a process rather than get through. That's it. When I think of it that way, everything changes. I feel lighter and excited. My body gears up, not for battle, but for what it needs to face. I still feel a buzzing in my body, but that's a good thing. I know the schedule is about to change so I am getting ready. I do want to meet it all with openness and playfulness. The summer doesn't have to be the only time we play. And, I love fall and don't want to miss all the colors of it.

What are you gearing up for? How can you feel that anticipation and welcome it? Here's a simple practice that might help. You can do this in writing or just say it out loud.

1) Start by naming all the major pieces of your fall -- what's on your plate? When you are done, you might pause, take a breath, and say, "wow, that is a lot."

2) Now, name the goodness behind all of what's on your plate. What benefits might you take away and/or what goodness might surround what you have to do (support, resources, connections, people, places, etc.) What meaning or purpose will they bring in the long run, even if doing them is hard or arduous?

3) How does it all feel now that you remembered the why and the choice to show up? Does your mindset feel different?

My list for the fall makes me realize why there's some anxious energy brewing. But, once I named all of the elements and then looked at the benefits coming from them, why I am doing them, or what makes them possible, my anxious energy feels more like excitement and I see possibility and awe at what will be coming to fruition. The busyness is there, but it is not a problem, rather, it is a great part of the process that I want to be in. I hope you, too, can look at your fall and touch the positive energy behind what's coming. If you get stuck, reach out and let me know.

🌻
Jean