Asking Questions

 

Do you remember being told many times over in your education to ask questions and being encouraged with the phrase that "there are no stupid questions?" And yet, if you were shy like me, you held the question to yourself or worse, you thought you were the only one that had that question so it must mean something was wrong with you. Just think how many great questions go unasked all the time! What a loss. I love that what I do now is mostly ask questions. For some reason, I am only realizing this today and suddenly I am excited by the realization. Why? (No pun intended).

 A question, when it is asked with genuine openness, can often be a gift to our nervous system because it asks us to move into a place of curiosity. It invites us to stop and listen and to search for understanding. It welcomes us to think and feel for what we need in order to discover (it is generative). Sometimes, it is a shifting question, one that opens up our perspective to hold something in a new way or from another angle. The shifting question can change a negative mind state, to one of possibility, energy or clarity. It can can turn a confused place to one that has understanding or that allows for complexity. A "good" question makes something fresh. It allows us to step back from the subject and get the space we need to see it anew. An insightful question doesn't look for black and white answers and doesn't get bogged down with right and wrong. We ask the question because we believe that there is insight within. It might not happen right away or with one question, but it is there for us to uncover.

How do you ask an insightful, generative, or shifting question? It has to be open and broad enough in scope around the subject. It also has to ask something we don't yet know. Insightful questions aren't smart or clever. Insightful questions often evoke curiosity in us that wasn't present before. They also ask us to listen to our felt sense of the situation, rather than what our logical, practical brain might know about it. When we listen with our gut, with our heart, from what the body knows, we get another way of perceiving what is here.

What are some possible questions that can open us up and inspire curiosity? Here are just a handful that come to mind:

• What is this needing in me? (For example: patience, acceptance, kindness, inspiration, space). 
• Where in my body is this subject held and what does it feel like?
• What assumptions am I making?
• What do I not yet know here that I can let myself not know?
• What would make this easier?
• What matters most to me about this issue?
• What does my higher self, after all these years of experiencing life, know about this?

My invitation this week, whenever you find yourself grappling with something or when you find yourself in any hard emotional or mental state, get curious and ask yourself an open question that causes you to stop and search inside (you might choose one from the list above). Say the question aloud and respond aloud. This will help you find clarity. Slow the question down when you ask it so that you can hear what is being asked. And even just a small insight or opening can go a long way. Asking questions is a very powerful tool we can utilize with ourselves and with each other. (Just be sure when you ask someone else a question, it is truly a question and not a statement, suggestion or opinion disguised as a question).

We never know which question is going to make us go "ah!" Curiosity leads to creativity and we are always creating our lives. Wishing you a beautiful week.

🌷
Jean