After any big holiday, event, project, accomplishment, trip, or whenever there is significant tumult among living beings, what I need the most is to get quiet, to come home to myself and get centered again. It's not always easy to do because the impulse is to keep going, keep talking, doing, planning, thinking, analyzing. I have to be intentional about getting quiet. Given that we are in the midst of what I would call a "loud season," not bad, just loud, I thought I would make this A Mindful Pause about quiet.
Though I do love this time of the year, I know I can get caught up in the noise. I'm not talking about the perpetual leaf blowers, though I could add that in, rather the hype that comes with the year's end. Our mind and our senses get bombarded with advertising that awakens desire, consumption, expectation, pressure. We get inundated with holiday music. We receive daily requests to give money for year end appeals (for many good causes). Even if we don't get holiday invitations, we feel the hectic nature of things wrapping up (literally and figuratively). Kids come home from college; there's added busyness in preparation for any trips; there's decorating, shopping, and an emphasis on food. And all of that on top of working, home and family life, and sometimes sickness and death are in the mix (because it's on its own timeframe). The good news is, even with all of that, quiet within is possible.
During the weekend retreat I held this fall, we spent some time reflecting on quiet and specifically what quiet allows us. You might try it now and if you were on the retreat, you might refresh yourself, because we forget. You can start with the prompt:
When there is quiet and when I am quiet, I...
Let your answers to the prompt remind you what good comes from quiet. Quiet can bring other feelings, too. So, next, lean into the fear that lies behind not allowing quiet. Ask, "if I am in the quiet and allow myself to be quiet, what am I afraid might happen? Why do I need the distraction that keeps me from being quiet (checking my phone, turning on TV, podcast, radio, playing a game, making a call to fill the space, consuming, etc.). If I didn't do this and let there be more quiet, what might happen?" Some interesting insights come if you take the time to ask. You get to see what your are believing that might not actually be true, but could use some care and compassion and that opens the door to what might be possible.
To be quiet within is a powerful place to live from. In order to be comfortable there, we do need to practice. We don't have to be afraid of the quiet, of meeting ourselves, of feeling and just being. And, whatever is whirling around us need not impede our inner peace.
"Realize that silence comes from your heart and not the absence of talk ." ~Thich Nhat Hanh
You don't have to go to a cave in a mountain to find silence; it's found inside every time you let a thought go and come back to the present. It's found every time you pause before you reply. It's found every time you don't add onto a feeling, sensation with reactions to them. Thich Nhat Hanh says, "Mindfulness is the practice that quiets the noise inside us." To be mindful takes a certain kind of intention and effort. Our habitual instincts are to react, but we can water the seeds that help us to stop, settle and digest so that we can then act (or not act) from a clear, more aware place. What if we don't give our opinion to everything? What if we don't berate ourselves when we do? What if we didn't add to the noise, but bring calm, in our presence alone, which will speak volumes.
My invitation this week, and in these closing weeks of the year, is to be more intentional about going inside and getting quiet between the holidays, trips, gatherings, between taking in the news and sharing your opinion on it. Take a pause, get grounded, let go of contracting or pushing forward and let yourself get quiet. Commit to your meditation practice; take a solitary walk without headphones; eat a meal without doing something else at the same time; choose to listen rather than talk.
Let your whole body slow down and let your breath deepen. Find space between your thoughts by letting them go as they arise. You can always pick them up later, but you can take a break from the noise, inside and out. Most likely, you will emerge more connected, more present, more compassionate and loving.
Wishing you a peaceful week celebrating quiet.
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