Last week, 14 brave souls attended my retreat at the Dharmakaya Center for Wellbeing in the Catskills of New York. From Friday evening through Sunday afternoon we explored aspects of growing old, the inevitability of the body's decline, the fact that we will eventually be separated from everything we love, and that what we do here, in body and mind, is all we truly own. They are not subjects for the weak of heart, yet our lives are often driven by the fear of them, which makes them so necessary to reflect on. The unaddressed fears of our impermanence lead to stress, sickness, unhealthy relationships, all kinds of addictions, endless material consumption, and, yes, wars. Being willing to have these conversations with oneself and with others deflates the monster out of them. Like a blow-up Halloween decoration, once unplugged, it simply falls away and loses its fright. We did a bit of that unplugging on the retreat. I want to share one simple prompt from the weekend with all of you. It's one that I think makes us more alive, which is ultimately the point of it all.
Inspired by the work of the late Stephen Levine and his book A Year To Live, (of which there are courses on the subject should you be interested), I invited everyone to keep asking themselves, throughout the weekend, this simple question: if this were the last time I could do this thing, how would I do it? If this was the last time I could take a shower, look into this person's eyes, go to bathroom on my own, taste this blueberry, walk this path, how would I do it? I can't think of anything that brings us into greater presence than that contemplation. Not to be used as a threat, but as an awakening. I likened it to imagining doing something for the first time. Experiencing something fresh and being delighted. Why not ask it all the time and be delighted moment after moment. We get to do this thing called living. The hard moments and the pleasant ones. What an amazing thing.
My invitation this week is that simple. Throughout the day, ask this of yourself, "if this were the last time, how would I...?" And then enjoy it. Gratitude will naturally spring forth. See the monsters deflate as you feel full from your experiences all day long. And when you forget, as you likely will, you get to ask it again.
Wishing you many happy treats this week.
Jean
