It has been many years since I watched the Winter Olympics. Something about this particular winter drew me to them. What has it brought me? Tears. Seriously. I find myself in tears.
When it happened the first time, as I watched one of the figure skaters finish their program, I was surprised at myself. But then it happened again and it keeps happening. Tears fill my eyes, and then I laugh at my own over-the-top emotion. What is this welling up of feeling? My family laughs at me. But I welcome these tears.
There is something about seeing the intimate facial expressions of these athletes at the moment they finish their event. It is brief but unmistakable. The tremendous expressions of relief, or joy, or disappointment have been so moving and deeply needed for my soul. To see genuine, uncensored, unabashed feelings caught up close for us all to witness is a gift in these hardened times.
In this winter segment of A Mindful Life, which just began, I chose a theme that felt a bit clunky to name: nourishing the qualities of gentleness and softness. I chose it because I know I need it and because the world is anything but that right now. The tendency, in the face of harshness, is to follow suit -- to respond to aggression, dominance, force, distrust, anger, and fear by hardening, contracting, and closing off. It makes logical sense that fight or flight mode sets in, or we shut down (freeze). It takes conscious effort to counteract that energy, but we can and that's what I am focusing on. Doing the opposite of what is coming at us.
Allowing myself to share in the undeniable feelings of these athletes, whether they are young and have years ahead to compete, or the ones who will be doing this for the last time, is such an honor and a gift. What it does is soften me. This is my invitation to all of us this winter -- to keep tuning into that which helps us to soften. That which helps us feel and connect. It might not be Olympians for you, but what softens you? What helps you feel warmth, connection, tenderness -- the joy of someone's joy, the pain of someone's pain? What helps you to move more gently through your life?
Our nervous systems are all playing off each other. If I help myself to generate warmth and kindness I will be helping you, too. Isn't this what we need more than ever? It is so much nicer than hardening. My body knows that. It would rather exhale and let go than tighten and brace.
All day long we have opportunities to soften and open up. When we do, we receive so much more. It comes in the smallest of moments and actions and sends a different message to our brains. How I pick up an object, open a door, how I walk on the earth, how I drive my car, or put away the groceries. The tone of my voice, the way I see, the pace of my movements and my words all send a message to our own nervous systems and to everything around us. We have power over this. What an amazing thing.
I recently heard a teacher say how mindfulness is a very forgiving practice because there is always another moment. I love the simplicity of that truth. If I harden, as I will at times, I have the next moment to meet differently. Moment by moment we have opportunities and what we do affects the next moment and what we receive. In my touch, in my words, in my movements and actions, I can bring care, kindness, and warmth. I can handle things gently and it comes back to me. To meet everything with reverence. Why wouldn't we? I know I don't when I am in a rush or when I am fearful. But isn't it exciting, isn't it a relief, to think we don't have to be hard or rough to be in this life?
This week, may we all enjoy the endless opportunities to soften and open and to be aware of the difference so it grows in us. Remember it is a forgiving practice; there is another moment. Together we can change the energy that is here -- starting now.
Warmly,
Jean
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