To Be In Community Is To Remember

“A circle of trust is a group of people who know how to sit quietly "in the woods" with each other and wait for the shy soul to show up. The relationships in such a group are not pushy but patient; they are not confrontational but compassionate; they are filled not with expectations and demands but with abiding faith in the reality of the inner teacher and in each person's capacity to learn from it.”  —Parker Palmer

Dear Friends, This past weekend, 10 women came together for 2 hours to be with the subject of mindfulness and creativity. I always get nervous for these workshops, especially when they are new. I wonder if I am asking the right questions, if what I am presenting will resonate, if the group will connect meaningfully. The truth is, I can never really know and so I have to be with that difficult feeling of uncertainty and show up anyway. What I learn every time with a group or workshop is that it's not about what we do, so much as the connection and community that gets created. When we want to be there and when we are open to being curious about our experience and willing to share authentically, then connection happens and when we connect with ourselves and each other, there is nothing better. And, why is there nothing better than connection? Because our biggest fear, our ultimate fear, is that we will be disconnected from everything. What we forget is that we can't be separated. We are made of everything that is not us and we are also a part of everything past, present and future. So, of course, when we have moments of feeling connected with another or a group, it feels so good because, consciously or not, it helps us to remember.  What I witnessed this weekend were artists, writers, and dabblers connect with themselves and each other. What a gift it was for everyone. They witnessed, related to, and inspired each other and it was beautiful. What was created, even if for only 2 hours, was community. Community matters. On an intellectual level, we know this and yet we find relating can often be so challenging that we imagine having a larger healthy community would be impossible. The more I do this work of leading mindful groups, the more clear it seems that creating a healthy community (and by healthy I mean based in the principles of kindness, generosity, and love), might first require having the experience of being in a smaller one that gives us a sense of belonging, one that helps us to remember our connection, what matters to us, and who we are. One that is specifically intended to create space for ourselves to slow down and practice being present, and to share what that experience is like? What’s it like to get quiet and see what's alive in us. What’s it like to hear what’s alive in another? What’s it like to listen to someone and not have to fix them? What’s it like to “water positive seeds” together? This week, my teenagers and I were listening to Coldplay in the car and Fix You came on. I paused it and asked them, "what's wrong with this song?” “Huh,” they replied? I asked, “what’s wrong with the lyrics?” And then my daughter got it. We can't fix other people, we can only be compassionate with them as they discover and uncover. This is what a community can do. We can hold the space for each other. It is worth all the effort we put into it. What I re-discovered this weekend is that we create community. We create it by what we bring. Even in these times of social distancing, we can find the “us” that’s still here.  🙏🌻 Jean P.S.  If you want to be a part of a mindful community, ask about A Mindful Life and see if it's the kind of space you are looking for. A New group starts next Wednesday night! Or come to workshops, or join the drop-in meditation community. There are so many opportunities to connect and feel a "part of."