Releasing Pressure In The Present Moment

 

Happy November!

I'm just back from a weekend in the country. We usually miss peak foliage when we go, but this year it was later than usual and though we had some rain, it was a beautiful weekend of color and rest. My dear sangha member, Carl, once shared that to help with those transitions of returning from a trip he remembers to say, "thank you." Since he shared that practice, both my husband and I have been doing that as we pack the car to leave. Gratitude gives me something to lean on in those moments when it feels hard to let go.

Then, I lean into myself to listen to why it feels hard to return. What comes to the surface is not the conditions I'm returning to -- I love what I do, who I'm around, my kids are content and easy, but the pressure I put on myself...it can be enough to keep anyone from wanting to return. I know I'm not alone in this. 

I recently had a week where I was able to let it go. It might have been the first time in my life where I experienced what that feels like and it was deeply liberating. And then I lost it. In the shuffle of getting my office back up and running, post flood, an audit, and having to make many decisions, it got swept away like a fallen leaf being carried downstream.

Pressure is something I feel when I am caught in the future. It actually doesn't have to do with the present moment. I feel it in the present moment, but it's caused by expectation which has me leaning into the future. In the present moment, what's going on is simply what's going on. If I stay right here, I'm actually okay (often more than okay). To get to this clarity though, I have to talk myself through it -- what's actually here. I say it out loud or make a list in my journal. But that alone, while it brings me perspective and clarity, won't take care of the feeling. I then need to drop into compassion for myself and for all beings who experience this sense of pressure, because it is hard and it is very human. We don't get through life without experiencing this. Anyone who says otherwise isn't really living here. All we can do is practice "coming home" to ourselves right now and recall our connection to everything (also known as love), which we can easily forget.

My invitation this week is to recognize when you are feeling pressure (pressure of being, having and doing enough, which is one of my favorite books A Life of Being, Having, and Doing Enough by Wayne Muller) and pause to get clear in the present moment and to find compassion for this human condition that none of us get to escape, but all of us can meet with grace. Simply place your hand on your heart and take a handful of breaths feeling the warmth and tenderness of your own hand. Be a friend to yourself. 

Wishing you a beautiful November. Happy Diwali for those of you celebrating!

🙏🍁

Jean