Sensing Beyond The Details

After a conversation in my morning group, I'm feeling inspired to write more on a way of viewing that I am finding more and more helpful in my life. I am going to try my best to explain it, though it might be clumsy.

I’m realizing that the practices I’ve learned that have been most helpful to me all have this one thing as a component. That one thing asks me to step out of the details of an issue and sense beyond them to find out what it is I really need to know. When I get caught in the details, for example, this happened and then this happened; she said that and I responded with this, and then this other thing went on -- when I do this, the benefit is that I get all of that out of me which can be somewhat cathartic, but I rarely find that the relaying of all that information helps me to feel any better. I’m still left with it. Nothing is transformed or seen in a new way.

When I catch myself getting bogged down in the details of what happened, or is happening, and pause to check in and see beyond the details -- what the whole thing feels like, or what the whole thing wants me to know, or what my higher, more experienced self knows about the whole of it, I get to see a perspective I might not have otherwise. More insights arise and more possibilities emerge.

Sometimes we do need to have someone who can listen to all of what went on. There’s some relief in having someone witness the intricacies of our experience, but if we really want to transform what’s weighing on us there is this other way. It’s a mindful practice because it requires a pause, more silence to be able to listen deeper, and an openness to sensing and hearing what else we know that may be beyond words and has a felt sense. It often comes out as an image or a physical feeling, an inner knowing that comes from the heart and the mind processing something together. It’s not the linear intellect at work, but something more holistic.

The best way to understand this is probably to try it on for yourself. You can do this alone (I find it helpful to talk out loud if I’m alone so that I can hear myself clearly).

• Name an issue that you are facing in your life right now. It might be something big, but it doesn’t have to be. Just find a word or phrase that captures the issue without giving details
• Step back from it and name it again by saying, “there’s this issue here.” And now that you’ve clearly identified it, what is the feeling around the whole of it? You don’t have to take the first answer that comes to mind, but hear it and see if that’s really it. If it is, great, but if that isn’t quite it, try on some others and see what else you find that captures it. It might be more than one feeling, or maybe it’s a sensation, or an image might come. Again, step back and repeat it back, there’s this issue and the whole thing feels like ___. Take a breath to make room for the feeling/sensation/image.
• Now ask, “if I let go of the details around it all (what happened, the “shoulds” of it, the judgements, the shock, the need for answers), coming from love, what is most important for me here?” Let yourself slow down. This part may take more time exploring as you try on the answer that comes and see if that’s it or maybe there is something more. But you’ll know you’re onto something when you feel a sense of “yes, that’s it” (or your head nods in affirmation). Once you hear the thing you need to hear, name it again and don’t feel the need to do anything more. Let just that much digest.

That’s it. How did that feel? How does the whole thing feel now? What I find is that after that, there’s a deep breath that comes. I’m no longer caught in what went on and what I have to do with it, rather I now know what’s inside it all and that will eventually inform me of what I might need to do next. And, if you imagine doing it the other way -- relaying all of the details of the issue -- what’s the difference? How does it feel different in your body, the energy of it? It’s always good to compare so that you know the difference and then can choose which way you want to approach something. They are both valid, but have different end results.

If you did try this on, I would love to hear your experience. What did you notice? How is it different for you? Feel free to drop me an email.

Wishing you all a beautiful November week.
🙏🧡
Jean