Before I share this week's Mindful Pause, I first want to acknowledge the fear, pain, and suffering of the people of Israel, their loved ones here and around the world, and the many innocent civilians caught in the crossfire over the past 10 days. My heart is saddened by the terrorism and suffering we are witnessing from afar and the fear and trauma it stirs up for people everywhere.
While I often feel helpless in these times, what I take refuge in and what we, as a mindful community, can all take refuge in is our contribution to peace. We do this by our daily commitment to becoming more aware of ourselves and being mindful of how we effect others, by strengthening our capacity for staying present and grounded, by touching compassion, seeing our common humanity, allowing for complexity in order to not become rigid in our perceptions, by learning how to communicate with the intent to understand and connect, by returning again and again to loving and kind intention. It is not easy work and yet this is what generates peace, stability, harmony around the world. One person at a time willing to do the hard work of looking deeply. Thank you for being in this community doing that. Though it may not seem like a contribution in times like these and, yes, there may be more we can do to take action, our becoming more awake is no small part to play. It has a ripple effect that is significant. I spoke to this in Sunday's talk if you want to hear more.
The theme we have been working with, both on the recent retreat and in my groups back here at home, has everything to do with being self-aware. I welcome you to join us in investigating just how much we tend to fill the spaces and silences of our daily lives and how it effects us. It speaks to our discomfort in being alone with ourselves; it speaks to the anxious energy so prevalent that begs for distraction. It speaks to the disconnection between our wish to be happy and free and what we actually do to keep us from it. It comes out in behaviors like compulsively checking our phones and screens for emails, texts, news, social media, entertainment. It comes out in habitually turning on the radio, TV, or playing a podcast without clear intention to listen or watch, or not knowing if it even nourishes us. It comes out in ways we consume -- food, shopping, gossip, recreational drugs and alcohol. It comes out in excessively exercising, dieting, cleaning. You name it. If we do it just to fill the space and the silence without clear intention, then we are making ourselves busy out of fear. Fear of disconnection, loneliness, fear of not being, having, doing enough, fear of wasting time (ironically), fear of feeling what we are feeling.
This is not a judgment or a criticism. There is nothing inherently "wrong" with us. But, when we notice what we do, we see that we get to make a choice to not fill all of the spaces and silences, rather we can take a break from so much input, so much busy-ness, and give our nervous systems a rest, feel calmer and more grounded because we can. We get to create new habits because we realize that happiness does not lie in filling every second, but being present to this one second right now.
My invitation this week is to notice when you fill those silences and spaces in your everyday life. It may be when you eat, when you turn on a device, listen to the news multiple times a day, when you multi-task, when you drive, when you are waiting for someone, when you start to clean though it was not in your plan for the day. When you can, try on not doing the habitual thing and see what happens. What do you do when you stop or when you only do one thing? What does it feel like to remove so much filler.
I say it often, "there is a lot more time and space available to us, we just need to give it to ourselves." And why does this matter? When we stop bombarding our nervous systems and give ourselves breathing room, we meet ourselves, others, life differently. We bring more calm, grounding, presence and peace to a world that very much needs it.
What can we do to help us in those moments of spaciousness and quiet? Breathe. Just feel yourself breathing.
🍁
Jean
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