How many of you identify with this question? You don’t need to be sold on why meditation is helpful or even taught how to do it, and even though when you do practice you feel so much better, the seemingly simple act of stopping and getting quiet on a regular basis doesn’t happen.
Do some of these rationales for putting off practice sound familiar? Let me just get to those dishes first. I really have too much to do this morning; I’ll get to it later today. I’ll do it in a second, I just want to check Instagram for a minute (which turns into 30 minutes at which time you have to be somewhere). I feel too anxious to sit still today. Let me just check in with a friend/family member by phone and then I’ll do it (but that takes up time that doesn’t feel “productive” and so now you really need to do something “productive,” not meditate). My mind is too busy right now. I can’t take that much time for myself right now. Work can’t wait. Though the practice is built into most of my days with my groups and classes, I still know what I can say and do that keeps me from meditating. What helps make it something we do consistently because we want to? Here are some thoughts for you…
Sunday night, in a technically botched evening meditation, I suggested something that may help with our perspective, which is to view meditation as a mini-vacation for the mind and body. It’s a break from constantly thinking, doing, fixing, grasping, pushing away, rehashing, adding onto— all the things we could do with the thoughts that arise, with the feelings that surface, with the sensations that we feel. Instead, it’s a time when we get to simply “be” and observe. Not anything more. The mind that observes the mind is spacious and relaxed. The mind that observes the mind doesn’t have to work hard.
Meditating becomes difficult or effortful when we evaluate what arises as good/bad, right/wrong or when we add onto what arises. Of course then it doesn’t feel like a break. For example, if a conversation from yesterday arises in my mind as I meditate and I start berating myself or someone else for what was said. Or, if I start thinking about something that is coming up and begin to worry about what might happen. Or, if I drift into a stream of nebulous thoughts and hear a voice that says, “I’m wasting my time here.” All of these judgements and add ons are not going to feel great. Why would we want to meditate? But, it doesn’t have to be this way if we can remember to give ourselves full permission to meet ourselves as we are and not need to do something. We can observe our experience of ourselves and of what is around us with greater equanimity and that is a relief. It brings spaciousness and ease.
My invitation this week is to dive more deeply into equanimity as you practice. See if it allows you your body and mind to have a break and if that break is worth your time. Here is an example of what that might look like. I start by following my breath. I might name what I sense in the present moment – inhaling, exhaling, birds over there, cars going by, the air on my skin, breathing in, breathing out, people in the distance, footsteps upstairs. Sooner or later, when I notice I have drifted off in thought or have been absorbed in a feeling or sensation, I might say, “this thought, letting go of anything I am attaching to this thought.” Or “this feeling, letting go of anything I am attaching to this feeling. This sensation, letting go of anything I am attaching to this sensation.” It’s like sitting on a park bench and watching the different characters stroll by without having to react to them. When we do this, we water the seeds of acceptance, of kindness, of grounding, of non-attachment (letting go), of accepting impermanence, of deepening presence. There is no pressure, no fight, no defending, no problem.
If bringing more equanimity to your practice doesn’t entice you to practice more steadily, I have included other basic tips to create the routine you want below. Most importantly, remember that you get to design the way you move through your experiences, whatever they may be and whatever the conditions are around you. This is empowering to come back to when it comes to developing our habits. The habits that make your life happier, healthier, more peaceful are worth spending time on. You are worth spending time on.
🌻
Jean
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