My teenage daughter and I took a walk the other day. She stopped at a beautifully full cherry blossom tree, pulled off a few blossoms and handed them to me. In the same week, a friend's husband offered his time and insight in an area where I could use some direction. Another friend is excited to help me launch a project that feels far-fetched to me, but she has complete confidence I can do it.
What keeps coming to the forefront of my attention these days is generosity. When I think of the word, some part of me associates it with money. I'm not sure why. The most generous acts I have been the recipient of in my life were not made with money. They were made by someone's presence, words, gestures, touch. The impact of these often simple acts was profound.
I think of my 8th grade English teacher responding to some painful words I shared about myself in the weekly journal he asked us to keep after getting our class pictures back. His words changed that year for me. I think of getting cut from an audition from a dance company I so desperately wanted to be in. I was walking through Union Square to the subway in the rain crying when a stranger stopped me to let me know that the sash to my raincoat was dragging on the ground and then asked if I was okay. I think of people who take the time to write back to me and thank me for something I said that touched them. These are acts of generosity. When people offer their presence, love, support, even a simple smile, its worth is much greater than any dollar value I can give it. The number of generous acts I receive would be impossible for me to count. They happen everyday.
This week I find myself asking why I don't practice simple acts of generosity even more. It is so easy to give and so enjoyable to do. Giving can be as simple as recognizing and appreciating another’s qualities, talents, goodness. To simply say, “wow, you’re really skilled at that," or "wow, that must have taken a lot of effort" is to see in another what they might not see in themselves because we tend not to see ourselves so clearly. Why not offer whatever we can to bring joy, reassurance, confidence, care, inspiration to another? A better question might be -- what fear gets in the way of our doing that? If we can tend to that fear, we will be much more free to give.
This isn't the reason to be generous...but, it is so rewarding! Simply said, it feels good to give because it takes us out of self-centeredness and into our inter-connection with all things. We can train ourselves in doing this -- to see the goodness in others more often than not and make note of it. Seeing through this lens is a choice. It may take some re-learning how to see and some undoing of the protective armor that gets built up in a competitive culture and a false belief in scarcity over abundance. But, we can and the process alone can be so liberating. We don't have to give away all our possessions to be generous. We don't have to give away money to be generous. We can be generous in ways much more profound and it may be as simple as a word or a gesture. Some people I know have this down and to them I am grateful as they show me the way again and again.
A simple practice for this week:
In the morning, think through who you will come in contact with that day and for each person, stranger or not, what can you say or what gesture can you make that will brighten that person's day, even just a little. What might you see and acknowledge in them that they might otherwise miss? And be sure to carry it out -- say the words, make the gesture without anything expected in return. Enjoy being "Santa Claus" every day because we can. We have a bottomless satchel of gifts we can hand out.
This week, I welcome you to join me in deepening generosity as yet another practice that can be a gateway to living a joyful, connected, and meaningful life.
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